What is BDSM Sadism and Masochism?

A sadistic person enjoys causing pain, but the sadistic person in BDSM will stand out by seeking consent from his or her partner.
A masochistic person in BDSM, on the other hand, will find pleasure in the pain received.

History of sadomasochism

The word “sadism” was coined by psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing, based on the writings of Sade, a French nobleman known for his numerous condemnations and accounts of torture involving a certain sexuality.

The word “masochism” was also coined by Richard von Krafft-Ebing, after Leopold von Sacher Masoch’s novel “Venus in Furs”.

At the time, sadism and masochism were regarded as uniquely pathological.

Today, sadomasochism has been removed from the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual), and is practised by many people around the world.

Are those who love sadomasochism disturbed?

No, absolutely not. Pleasure can be found in a wide variety of physical and psychological interactions, and can be triggered in different ways depending on the individual.

It’s important to note that the pain zone and the pleasure zone are very close in the brain, and also that pain provokes endorphins, the happiness hormone.

S/M practitioners, in search of consent and sharing with the other person, are generally healthy and fulfilled in their sexuality, and will be more attentive to their partner, his or her feelings and sensations.

Sadism, masochism and consent.

The sadist in BDSM will seek to take pleasure in the pain inflicted on the other, but above all to share intense sensations with his or her partner.

The S and M couple will be able to share intense practices and sensations, which may bind them to each other, with mutual consent in which dialogue will play an important part.

To decide whether or not to consent to S/M practices, it’s important to develop empathy and to be able to discuss the desires, expectations and limits of each participant in a calm, non-judgmental manner.

A safeword may or may not be defined, depending on how the partners define how to stop if there is a problem, or if one of them no longer wishes to continue a practice in progress.

What’s the difference between a sadist and a masochist?

Sadism and masochism in BDSM are two sides of the same coin, with the sadist getting pleasure from consensually hurting someone, and the masochist getting pleasure from receiving pain.

Knowing that everyone can be uniquely sadistic or uniquely masochistic, but also including a whole range of variants that can change according to situations, moods and partners, it is therefore possible to be sadistic and masochistic continuously or alternately.

You may have read or heard it said that a true sadist cannot get along with a masochist, since he or she will want to cause real suffering, so the other person won’t derive any pleasure from it.

This misunderstands sadism and masochism in BDSM, and confuses them with pathological sadism, which are ultimately very different.

Remember that BDSM is above all consensual, so partners make sure that the other wants to take part in this activity with them, and will respect the framework they have defined between them.

Secondly, when BDSM is shared by several people, the aim is to experience pleasure, even if this pleasure is not linked to the usual vision in our society, and is not necessarily immediate or directly linked to direct physical experience.

Sadistic and masochistic partners will therefore, on the contrary, potentially form a very good harmony.

What is the sadist looking for?

The person finding pleasure in BDSM sadism may seek to feel what they are inflicting, to project themselves, and to develop empathy towards the person they are hurting.
She may also enjoy frightening, impressing and putting the other person in a mental pattern conducive to receiving her abuse, and finding pleasure in it.
Marking the other person will be a key point for some, seeking to turn the partner into a living painting, or wanting to leave her imprint in the very body of the person with whom she has shared intense moments.

What is the masochist looking for?

The masochist may be seeking to atone for past sins, to be punished by a partner who shows no mercy.
They may also want to feel that explosion of endorphins, which can be as powerful as an orgasm, over a much longer period of time.
Or she may want to be a martyr to the loved one she worships. To put her body in his hands and feel that she belongs to him body and soul.

Is there a power relationship between sadist and masochist?

Sadists and masochists are not specifically on the Domination/submission spectrum. As with any BDSM practice, there may or may not be a mixture of the other elements of the acronym.

A sadistic person will be called “Sadistic” or “Top”, and may also practice, for example, bondage, and tie up their victim.

A masochistic person will be called “Maso” or “Bottom”, and may be submissive to the giver, or Dominant, giving orders on how to hurt him/her.

Some people are equally sadistic and masochistic, just like the switch in Domination/submission, and will enjoy both aspects of the practice.

What’s the link between submission and masochism?

Sadism/Masochism can sometimes be confused with Domination/Submission in certain practices, especially those that are physically painful.

A submissive person may want to experience pain and be marked without being a masochist. This may seem contradictory, but it’s in the way the moment is experienced that we can understand the major difference.

The masochist will seek a certain pleasure or sensory experience over the pain itself.
The submissive seeks to give himself to the Dominant, to suffer for Him/Her, like a martyr for his God. It’s a kind of self-giving for the other.
With all the possible variations, a masochist can also be submissive, suffer under the orders of one person via another, submissive to someone and masochist living out his sensations with someone else etc…

In conclusion, whether you’re a sadist, a masochist, or both, as long as you respect the consent of the other person and yourself, and inform yourself about the safety of your practices, you’ll be able to derive a lot of pleasure from them in a perfectly healthy way…

Ask any questions you may have in the comments, and I’ll be happy to answer them.
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